E: S, stop treating our readers like they're dumb.
S: I'm not! I'm perfectly serious! Today is our FUTURE POLL, so we had to, you know, be in the future.
E: You mean you dropped the ball.
S: Well, excuse me! It's not like you don't have the login password or anything...
E: How many times do I have to tell you? Sarcasm does not come across well in writing!
S: A billion.
Dear Readers! We have tabulated the scores! We know who participated in the Olympiad and how many points they
Poll #1306763 CR FUTURE POLL
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 2
What Movie Should We Reduce Next?
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
0 (0.0%)
The Phantom of the Opera (2004) 0 (0.0%)
Titanic (1997) 2 (100.0%)
The Music Man (1962) 0 (0.0%)
The Pirate (1948) 0 (0.0%)
Northwest Passage (1940) 0 (0.0%)
King Arthur (2004) 0 (0.0%)
How Often Should We Post?
A Complete Reduction Once A Month 1 (50.0%)
A Partial Reduction Every Week 0 (0.0%)
Every Day, Dang It! 0 (0.0%)
A Complete Reduction Whenever We Get It Done 1 (50.0%)
Never Reduce Another Movie 0 (0.0%)
How Can We Make Our Entries More Readable? (Check All That Apply)
Do E and S's names in different colors 1 (50.0%)
Have a space between each line 0 (0.0%)
Bold all character tags and scene headings 2 (100.0%)
Italicize tags and scene headings 0 (0.0%)
Make Each Post Shorter 0 (0.0%)
What Movie Do You Loathe Most?
Who's Your Favorite Reducer?
lepusdomesticus (S) 0 (0.0%)
zibbycomix (E) 0 (0.0%)
S's Mom 0 (0.0%)
Sweetums 0 (0.0%)
You! 1 (100.0%)
Fun Clicky Thing!
- Mood:
bouncy
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 1
zibbycomix's LJ is called "Journal of a ______"
What do they "do" "Down There" according to S in a recent parody?
Where is "Down There" anyway?
What do E and S do?
E's a librarian and S is a writer 0 (0.0%)
They are both secret government assassins 1 (100.0%)
They are both filmmakers 0 (0.0%)
E's a librarian and S works for the FBI (That's Agent Bozo to you!) 0 (0.0%)
Why is S's journal called Lepus domesticus?
Because she takes her Wolfsbane Potion every month 0 (0.0%)
Because it's obscure 1 (100.0%)
Because it's an anagram of her real name 0 (0.0%)
Which of the following happened to E's LJ shortly after the founding of celluloid_redux?
It was commandeered by pirates 0 (0.0%)
It was hacked into by devious internet fairies 0 (0.0%)
It got a lot funnier overnight 1 (100.0%)
OMG! It started having daily posts! 0 (0.0%)
It changed its title 0 (0.0%)
Which movie did we Reduce as a favor to S's brother Elmo?
What is the name of our mascot?
Which of these has S threatened E with in a Reduction?
Liquidation in the library 0 (0.0%)
Hitting her with the Whacking Stick 1 (100.0%)
Making her watch Legend 0 (0.0%)
Deep Fried Scorpions 0 (0.0%)
Feeding her a fresco 0 (0.0%)
Which Harry Potter-type spells have we used to Reduce movies?
Haltus Thoughtus! 1 (100.0%)
Reducio! 1 (100.0%)
Expecto Reduction! 0 (0.0%)
Parodius! 1 (100.0%)
Expecto Al Fresco! 0 (0.0%)
Reducto Ad Absurdum! 1 (100.0%)
Watchus Movius! 0 (0.0%)
This is Making Me Sickus! 0 (0.0%)
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
zibbycomix and lepusdomesticus ? Test your knowledge today! And afterwards, we're having a food fight!!RULES FOR FOOD FIGHT: None, really. Try some recipes, share some pictures, whatever. We just want to celebrate our love of the culinary arts. It's Dinner and a Movie here every Reduction! : ) Once again, inviting a Friend to share the fun earns you TWO points!!
- Mood:
content
CHALLENGE ZIBBYCOMIX!
This is like Connect Two in a way, except you're challenging E in Disney Trivia! Ask her a question about your favorite princess or song lyric or whatever and be amazed by her vast Disney Knowledge (TM)!!! : )
AAAAAAAAANNNNNDDD
PART TWO OF OUT MATCHING GAME!!!!
EASY:
1. E: Just because there's a desert and a pillar of fire and a plague of locusts does NOT mean this is The Ten Commandments!
2. S: Because in 1965 people believed that all great artists were heterosexual.
3. CR: Higgins suddenly realizes that one can't be a proper Englishman without an umbrella...I mean, wife.
4. E: Moody's just returned from his appearance on Pimp My Broom.
5. S: So, there are only two unicorns in the world and they're both stallions?
HARD:
6. S: This movie's almost as old as I am. Frankly, I think I turned out better.
7. S: Now, the Prince knows how to use his knife! See, he's not sticking it in his ear like some people...
8. S: Man, I could say so many things about Demosthenes right now...But I won't.
9. S: Harry, meet the door. Door, meet Harry's wrath.
10. E: This must be one of the things Lorenzo changed when he restarted history.
IMPOSSIBLE:
11.S: A légpárnás hajóm tele van angolnákkal.
12. E: Hee hee. For a second, I thought you said underpants.
13. S: I get it for the articles, I swear!!
14. E: Well, I've never taken this seriously before; I see no reason to start now.
15. S: If you don't let me fast-forward, I fear for your life.
MOVIES:
A. Legend
B. The Agony and the Ecstasy
C. My Fair Lady
D. Hidalgo
E. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
- Mood:
giggly
RULES: There are three categories listed below (Easy, Hard, and Impossible). Each category contains FIVE quotes from our first five Reductions ever, one from each of the Reduced Movies listed below. Match the quote to the movie we were watching when we said it! (So, each Movie will be used three times, once per each category) That's it! Make a comment with your answers! Have fun!
EASY:
1. E: Why would Harry think Lupin would have a dementor locked in a trunk? Like he said, "Oh, I think I'll just invite this dementor around for tea sometime."
2. E: And Leopold has like eight names...just like Dumbledore!
3. S: Well, you know, when a guy is half fish, what you see is pretty much what you get.
4. S: You know, if they really spent this much time dancing, I'm not surprised Bonnie Prince Charlie lost the war.
5. S: Assassins! Character assassination in the Cathedral!! Er...throne room or whatever.
HARD:
6. S: What? They lost?! Under Owain I, king of Gwynedd?? Since when??!!
7. E: He's only saying that 'cause he's standing right next to the wanted poster.
8. S: Well, he has Super-Greek-Mythology-Knowledge! and knows how well marrying a mortal worked for Thetis.
9. E: So, what? They'll all just be sleeping in some netherworld for all eternity? What if Prince Charming comes and kisses them?
10. S: Just what Kate wanted--trading an out of work mad scientist for an out of work actor.
IMPOSSIBLE:
11. E: I think I'd prefer vampires at this point, actually.
12. S: Yes. Our readers have the luxury of doing such things. We are stuck watching this instead.
13. E: Oooh! Extreme slashiness ahoy!
14. S: Beauty fades like a rose, but poverty lasts forever.
15. E: You said no dog abuse...
MOVIES:
A. The Little Mermaid
B. Kate & Leopold
C. Becket
D. Brigadoon
E. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
- Mood: energetic
zibbycomix: Oh? You mean you have no other talents or skills than remembering movie trivia?
lepusdomesticus: Yes, exactly.
zibbycomix: Well, at least you'll still be useful at parties...if the power goes out...and all the world's batteries die...and the internet implodes...and all modern technology ceases to exist.
lepusdomesticus: Thank you, E. That is a great comfort to me.
Dear readers! It is day four of our eight day marathon of movie madness!! Our next game is fun for you and not so much for us--our way of letting you give back after all the joy we've brought you!
zibbycomix: Acutally, that doesn't make sense at all.
lepusdomesticus: Since when does anything we do have to make sense?
zibbycomix: Oh. Yes. Good point.
This game tests the amazing uselessness of lepusdomesticus' brain! You see, S watches way too many movies and has the dubious ability to remember the names and faces of movie stars. Science tells us this is a perversion of what was once a useful adaptation, back when humans were hunter-gatherers and lived in small family groups! In fact, S can connect any two movie stars to each other, strictly through their work with other movie stars.
zibbycomix: This is a really stupid game.
We call this game CONNECT TWO!!
zibbycomix: The name is worse.
RULES: S will not consult any resources. She will use only her powerful memory! You are encouraged not to use IMDB either, but, again, we'll have no way of knowing. Simply leave a comment on this post with the names of two movie stars you'd like to see connected! Then, S will connect them to each other! Then she will connect them back again (so it's like a circle) using different movies!
zibbycomix: Is this like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon?
lepusdomesticus: Vaguely. Stop interrupting.
Zibbycomix will start off the game so you can see how it works. (zibby says: I will? lepus replies: Yes, you will.) If you manage to stump S (a rare and improbable event), you must supply the connection yourself. If S succeeds in making the connection, you must invite ONE (1) Friend over to challenge her anew! Sounds fun, eh?
HINT: S does best with living actors over the age of 30 who work primarily on English-language films. There are a few exceptions. : )
Note on Prizes: We've thought up a Grand Prize! YOU get to Reduce the movie of your choice with E and S! We'll bring the popcorn!
- Mood:
nervous
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 2
What is Disney's Little Mermaid's nationality?
Which came first, the elevator or the shaft?
Which of the following is true of the Pawn Shop Paradox?
If you still have your mother's ring, multiple universes exist 1 (50.0%)
Flux is a vector 1 (50.0%)
My mind has turned into a pretzel 0 (0.0%)
Complete this name: William the
What, behind the rabbit?
Which Clan wears the purple plaid?
Where did Michelangelo go to pick up guys? (strictly to model for him, of course)
Which of the following have we associated with Rex Harrison?
The Whacking Stick 0 (0.0%)
Molding people to his will 1 (50.0%)
Improbable romances 1 (50.0%)
Yo' Mama 0 (0.0%)
Which talented thespian does S like to see die?
David Thewlis 0 (0.0%)
Alan Rickman 1 (50.0%)
Jason Isaacs 0 (0.0%)
Ralph Fiennes 0 (0.0%)
Gary Oldman 1 (50.0%)
What cinematic demise did she miss? Name the method and the movie.
And all because of
Answers on Tuesday! Enjoy!- Mood: quizzy
called Celluloid Reduction.
We all got our yuks
from celluloid_redux--
blame their poor sentence construction.
That's right, dear readers, Day Two of our Celebratory Games features a...LIMERICK CONTEST!!!!!
E: No! Not...a LIMERICK CONTEST!!!!!
S: Yes, you heard me right, a...LIMERICK CONTEST!!!!!
E: (gasp!) A...LIMERICK CON--oh, for heaven's sake, this is silly!
S: Of course it's silly! We're doing it, remember?
E: Oh, yeah. A LIMERICK CONTEST!!!!
RULES AND SCORING: OK, guys, here's the deal: 3 points for submitting a limerick, 2 points for submitting a humorous poem in another form, 1 point for a joke (but only if it's funny). 1 point more if your poem relates to Celluloid Reduction, E and/or S, or one of the fine feathered films we're Reduced so far. 2 extra points for inviting a Friend! There will also be American Idol style voting on Tuesday the 18th to determine the best entry.
( HINT )
NOTA BENE: ALL GAMES WILL STAY OPEN UNTIL 11:59 p.m. MST, on MONDAY, NOV. 17th, so keep on guessing at those movie quotes and share the love with everybody you know!!!
And here's a hint at what some possible prizes may be: A good book, a framable work of art, an elegeic ode to you written by a professional poet (seriously), bragging rights and recognition all over LiveJournal, and maybe even...your name in print!!! So keep playing!
- Mood: chipper
You see, dear readers, it is our TENTH MOVIEVERSARY!!!!!! We're going to party like it's 1999!!!
zibbycomix : S, it's 2008! Almost 2009.lepusdomesticus : I know that E! I'm just trying to set the mood!zibbycomix: OK, OK, sorry.
Anyway, dear readers, because eight days a week we lo-o-o-o-ove you, this is not just a one day event, but a week long Celluloid Reduction Olympiad!!! We have ten games, contests, polls, and quizzes planned JUST FOR YOU!!! YES, YOU!!! We will have one new post a day, with two each on Saturday and Sunday, ending on Monday the 17th with a big bash celebrating our history of tireless work to better your movie-watching lives, and looking forward into our bright future! (And yes, we do have one!) Each game we do will be worth points, which will be tabulated as we go and also at the end of the week. The people with the highest scores will win FUN PRIZES!!! So, invite all your friends over and let's get started!!!
GAME ONE
MOVIE QUOTE QUIZ:
Name the movie each of these quotes came from: (hints and rules at the end)
1. Good evening. I am God.
2. Damn! Where is that kid? Damn! Damn!
3. There's only a hundred and fifty of them!
4. Statement! Two-love.
5. Light the lamp, not the rat! Light the lamp, not the rat!
6. I'm sick and tired of making miniscule profits!!
7. Will somebody get this big walking carpet outta my way?
8. My only shot at ever being in a gang fight, and all I get is one stitch?
9. Plastics.
10. Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.
HINT: Whenever we Reduce a bad movie, we like to quote better movies. Each of our Reductions has a quote key at the end of the mockery. Every single one of the above quotes is from a movie we've quoted before during a Reduction (but none of them is from a movie we've reduced!). If you get stumped, you might check out the quote keys to see which of our many movies we've quoted seems like the most likely candidate.
RULES AND PRIZES: Each quote is worth ONE (1) point. Leave a comment with your answers. Comments will be screened so that every entrant has a fair shot. Oh yeah, and for all these games, we trust you not to go over to IMDB or Google the answers. But, we won't be able to stop you from cheating. So, look in your heart, and know the right thing to do. : )
SPECIAL: You will earn TWO (2) points for every friend you invite over to play! (Friends must note that you sent them over here in their comments.) So, if you were to, say, invite five people over to play, you would get TEN (10) points, even if you didn't guess any of the quotes!! So, spread the word!!
The Games Are Afoot!!! (Don't trip over them, please!)
- Mood: bouncy
Dear, dear, dear readers! We are not dead! In fact we are back with a vengeance, or at least a very silly, long-winded reduction of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. We haven’t forgotten our own tenth movie-versary either! We’re thinking of restructuring Celluloid Reduction so it’s easier for you—yes you!—to read. We haven’t quite figured out how, though. Anyway…On with the show! We have changed our names. Let us know if this makes it easier to read. Since both E and S have “LiveJournals” now, we have used our user names here (although there’s no need to bother with E’s Journal—it’s boring and never updated). Like this:
lepusdomesticus, formerly S: I have discovered slash fanfiction.
zibbycomix, formerly E: I’m so proud of you!
( Theories And Recipe )
( Reducto Ad Absurdum! )
- Mood:
contemplative
The Stupendous Six run away! They are pursued by Death Eaters riding clouds of black wind, or something.
celluloid_redux says: WTF?
zibbycomix: Actually this reminds me of that plague of locusts in Hidalgo.
lepusdomesticus: Somebody needs to take away Tinkerbelle’s Fairy Dust Distribution License—now Captain Hook can fly, too. (34)
( Lucius Drops The Ball )
- Mood:
drained
And now it’s spring and the kids are feeling frisky! And suddenly Hagrid is back.
Harry: Laters, Cho! A tall, dark-haired man wants to see me!
Cho: This is so not working.
( At The UHOP )
- Mood:
confused
Harry is trying his friends’ patience. And then he writes about the weather to something called “Padfoot.” We think it’s a code. The scenery is beautiful.
lepusdomesticus: Maybe it’s the music, but did this seem vaguely Jane Austen-y to you?
zibbycomix: Thanks for the weather report, Harry.
( Is That Your Purse )
- Mood: shocked
WARNING: This Reduction contains foul language (twice!), violence to works of literature, adult themes, and innuendo of sexual deviance including masochism and bestiality. Some parts of it may not be suitable for inner children.
( Come Back Alfonso )
- Mood: excited
Also, I'm sorry to say that we are not going to be having our scheduled reductions this week or next week as E has run off with mysterious strangers to tropical locales. We may have a couple of little treats for you, however, so stay tuned!
Thanks for reading (and listening)!! --S
S: It is!! What greater love is there than that between a man and his mustang?
E: …
S: If I may be a little self-indulgent for a moment…
E: Oh dear.
S: I’ve composed a little poem on
E: Save me!
S: Ahem!
“…for a horse’s worth’s not the stride he makes
or in how high a seat his rider takes
but stamina—how long he will endure
when his hunger and thirst he never slakes
though he be small in bloodline and stature
and all other ways that men their horses measure. [//]
You see, a good horse runs from day to night
‘til he be wasted to the smallest part,
e’en though his legs be weak, his ribs in sight
because the best horse runs on his great heart…”
E: If I may just interrupt you for a moment…
S: But I still have 126 more lines!!
E: Oh. Well, I…Um…(points over S’s shoulder) “What in the world can that be?!
S: (looks) What? Where? I don’t see anything!” (1)
E: (grabs poem and runs)
S: Hey! Wait! Come back here!
Join us next week for another improbable adventure with Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix!
- Mood:pooped
- Mood:racin'
- Mood:fictional
Dear readers, we have a number of fun announcements today in addition to our latest reduction.
S: Huzzah!!
First, wicked_visions has very kindly made some icons and banners for us!!! Check out our profile page and take one! (If you know how. We don't. We needed help just to get them on the profile page and probably did something horribly wrong.)
- Mood: happy
- Mood:
enraged
Dear readers, we were willin’ to reduce this movie, we were wantin’ to reduce this movie, we were waitin’ to reduce this movie! Indeed, we could have mocked this movie all night, but we thought four posts was too much to expect even loyal viewers like you to get through in one day. After all, we assume that you, unlike us, have lives you need to live instead.
E: Very considerate of you, S. I won’t even mention how believing that your imaginary friends have important lives when you don’t is probably pathological…
S: You read it and you’re not imaginary. And neither am I.
E: ANYWAY…
We wanted to teach you how to cook something nice and light that you might eat at tea if you were an upper crust Briton. However, the tea cakes and finger sandwiches…
E: What did you say was in those sandwiches???
- Mood: silly
Profile
- celluloid_redux
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